*Headbanging with thoughts*
I need, need to write, Words have always been my savior. Although most of the times I end up in trouble because of my words.The worst decisions of my life have also been the manifestation of my words. Yet, yet I need my words! because they complete me and I love them the most.
It’s been a while since I posted anything on the blog. I still remember this time last year when I had first started to think of starting a blog. The idea, idea of having a place where I can write about people and inspire people. Even though lately it has only been about posting poems because I don’t get much time to meet people and discover their stories.But the past few months have been strange. If I had the choice I will not want to look back at few months of last year and want to live in a few months forever.
The few months that I want to live forever are the ones worth remembering ones that gave me special moments. Special moments or Memories!
Of them, certain Memories are special ones, one of those warped ones that seem to be at your fingertips, only your arm’s a hundred miles long.
I realized how warm hugs are warm only after they are gone.
I realized how after a point in life, people who are close to you move away after a point. Some hands don’t hold your hand forever, and it’s the most unfortunate thing to happen, but the reason for those hands slipping off is different everytime. They will slip! when the two boats are sailing in opposite directions, then the fingers can not say intertwined, can they?
When your boat starts moving in the other direction, your initial thoughts are along the lines of “oh, it’s okay” and sometimes you don’t even have the realization of boat slipping away.Then as the other boat gets smaller in the distance, you panic and you realize that the ocean is vast and cold and that it was the hand that got you this far. That hand spread its warmth and held you up.
Also, there are people, I tried to cut people out of my life. After I did, I began to wonder why. I was talking to a friend and saying that it sounds trivial but I’ve never felt so low in my life. She told me that break ups and the parting of friends are as close to death as life gets. It’s true. I’m never going to see you again. I’m in mourning. I can’t stop my entire body from churning out seas.
It is taking all my will power not to call you up. We can’t keep going backward, I know that. This is for the best. I know. I know. I know but.
Never before has the future seemed so bleak.
I think in a lifetime, people become guardian angels for others. They come, pick people up, teach them scraps of magic, and then kiss them goodbye. I’ve had the most beautiful angel come into my life and I only wish that I had been theirs. I wasn’t though, but the universe has its favorites, and I have a feeling that the universe and I have a few favorites in common.
The universe fucks up, it is still learning after all. But I promise you, that for what it messes up, it makes up for as well. It’ll find a way to make this up to you. I promise you that.
I will meet you again. I will meet you one day and you’ll be just as bright and warm, sunset and sunrise, midnight laughter, shoulders with snot and tears, soft snores, standing stories, and that look in your eyes.
I’ll stay awhile.